Sunday, October 24, 2010

Low sex drive in men

You are no longer interested in sex. Though you understand that your wife is a bit concerned, but it doesn’t bother you too much because she doesn’t speak about it or mentions it. However, deep within, you want to understand how and why you have transitioned from a once energetic young chap who could satisfy his newly-wedded wife in a matter of minutes to a man who no longer yearns to play the game. Deep inside, you also realize that the longer things go on like this, the farther apart you and your wife will drift. However, time and time again, you brush the issue under the carpet.

Men often don’t express their personal problems, especially those involved with relationships or sexual in nature, and, therefore, find it difficult to seek help. This eventually leads to breakdown of their relationships and causes stress, which further aggravates the problem.
What is low sex drive?
A man with decreased libido thinks less about sex, loses interest in sexual fantasy and in sexual activity. Even sexual provocation by sights, words, or touches, may fail to induce interest. The man, however, often retains the capacity to have sex. Some men, despite having no desire for sex, continue to engage in sexual activity in order to satisfy their partners. In such cases, women may find the excitement completely lacking and might start feeling that their partners are no longer interested in them.

Different men have different levels of libidos. This may range from one extreme, (such as wanting sex everyday) to the other extreme (having sex only once, twice or thrice a year). Men also have varying levels of satisfaction with their own sex drives. Therefore, there is no normal range of sexual activity for a couple.

Problems may arise when the husband’s libido is persistently low, which causes the wife to remain sexually dissatisfied or unfulfilled or when the man seems to be dissatisfied with his own level of sex drive. Compatibility between spouses, including sexual compatibility and sex drive, is essential to maintain healthy sexual life. While libido may be decreased temporarily by conditions such as fatigue or anxiety, some men experience low levels of sexual desire all their lives.

In this article, we try to explore the possible causes of low sex drive in men and provide useful tips to overcome these causes
Chronic stress can interfere with the hormones involved in the sexual response. This may result in low libido. Stress may be induced due to a variety of factors such as financial, personal, work–related and so on.

Tips to improve your libido: Reduce stress and manage it more effectively. This can range from employing stress-relieving techniques such as prayers, meditation and yoga to delegating more responsibilities to your colleagues and peers, depending upon the cause of stress. Alternatively, have sex to reduce stress! It is a well-known fact that sex is a wonderful stress-buster.

No time for sex
At some point in your life, you will find yourself in this boat. Juggling multiple responsibilities of earning and providing to your family, parenting, keeping the household afloat and discharging social responsibilities…whew! You find yourself constantly busy. Having packed schedules daily drains your energy and leaves no time for sex. A busy schedule also means a busy mind — and having a lot on your mind makes it difficult for you to relax and "get in the mood”. Sex, may, therefore, take a backseat and feel like just one more thing on your extremely-long "to-do list." All of these factors contribute to a lower libido.

Tips to improve your libido: Prioritize. Remember that sex is an important part of an adult relationship. Just as we need to find time for ourselves, we also need to find time for our partners. Designate a night or two a week to spend quality, romantic time with your wife. You can make it more interesting by bringing something new to the bedroom occasionally.

Emotional causes
Men generally overlook emotional causes of decreased libido such as fear, anxiety and depression. When we are afraid, anxious or depressed, sex is usually the last thing on our minds. Anxiety, fear and depression may stem from a variety of causes, be they work dilemmas, relationship issues, family woes, or money problems, but emotional experiences greatly impact our sex drive. On the contrary, fear and anxiety may occur due to sex itself. This includes the fear of contracting an STD, of making your partner pregnant or of not being able to make her conceive.

All these emotional experiences dampen our sex drive and hamper our chances of having a pleasurable sexual experience.

Tips to improve your libido: Improving your health and immunity are the primary factors that can ensure that you are able to tackle these emotional experiences. You can manage anxiety, fear and depression by meditating, doing yoga, talking to friends or playing with your kids. When your mind is healthy, there are fewer chances of problems intruding into your bedroom. However, if you feel that these emotional experiences are overwhelming you and you cannot cope with them, seek professional help.

After being married for few years, some couples can hardly find any sexual excitement left in their lives. You might also lose interest if your mate doesn’t take care of her looks, body and behavior.

Tips to improve your libido: Experiment! Bring back the excitement by trying out stuff that you had been fantasizing about for some time. Gift your wife sexy dresses, which will help bring in some spontaneity to the experience. Talk to your partner about her idea of improving the sexual relationship.

Relationship issues
Having relationship issues with your partner such as unresolved conflicts, resentment or unexpressed anger can dampen your sexual desire. You need to deal with relationship issues with your partner if you want to enjoy sex again.

Tips to improve your libido: Communicate. Identify the problem and try to find the solution together before issues explode into huge conflicts. If talking to each other doesn't work, seek help from a therapist.

Body Image
Some people feel unhappy about their bodies and are shy to expose them to their partners. Though, we all love and hate some aspects of our bodies, the key here is to learn to be happy with what you have and feel sexy about it.

Tips to improve your libido: You can do away with the negative feelings by thinking about the positive aspects that you have. Even if you are overweight, you can try out ways to feel sexy by enhancing your other valuable body aspects. If you are obese, try to shed some weight by seeking professional help.
Sexual Abuse
If you have been a victim of sexual abuse, you may find it difficult to have normal physical relations. By taking your own time to heal, being patient and getting help of friends and counselors, you can overcome this past issue and resume a normal and healthy sex life. The key here is not to pressurize yourself or get pressured from others to have sex until you are completely healed and ready.

Some common medicines such as those for high blood pressure, depression, or relieving anxiety can reduce sex drive. Depression can also lower your sex drive and so can the medicines you take to relieve it. Additionally, antidepressants can cause sexual dysfunction, such as delay in orgasm, inability to achieve orgasm or erection or ejaculation. Any of these conditions can have an adverse affect on your level of desire.

Tips to improve your libido: Before taking any new medicine, talk to your doctor about the possible side effects on sexual activity. Also, make a list of all the medicines that you take and get to know about their side-effects. Talk to your doctor and seek alternatives to the medicines which seem to be the cause of low sex drive or sexual dysfunction. Other options may include taking drug holidays, reducing the dosage or taking antidotes. Some people may benefit from taking supplements such as Gingko biloba or switching to a different medicine. The most important thing to remember here is that you should not stop taking any medicine without first talking to your doctor.

The best approach to this problem is to try and identify the cause of low sex drive in your case. Once you are able to do so, try to eliminate the cause or seek professional help. Remember, putting in the effort and resolving problems now will go a long way in living a sexually-fulfilling and blissful life!

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